• Monica Malone

I Am A Sad Woman

I am a sad woman.

Take that as you will.

What happened to make me a sad woman?

Am I sad in feeling or do you just pity me?


I think I pity myself.


I am a sad woman.

I am a mad woman.

I spent too long trying to remain a girl. I was a woman before I was ready. I was a woman before I knew what that meant. I didn't know how to be a woman, so I tried to be a girl. I tried to be what they wanted me to be. To please them, I could please myself. I tried to not be a woman, but it was inevitable. As I grew, I grew sad. I knew my fate before I understood it. How sad.


I am a mad woman.

Take that as you will.

I hid my anger and my madness because you told me to.

I was worried you would be mad at me.


Now I'm mad at myself.


I am a mad woman.

I am a lonely woman.

I did not want to be, so I surrounded myself to feel less alone. I needed you but you didn't need me. At least, not in the same way. Now I haunt myself with your memory and you decided to forget about me. Thought I had already felt pain, but it was nothing like this. This is torture. It is torture to not be able to trust people. It made me mad. How sad.


I am a lonely woman.

Take that as you will.

I don't know anything else but being alone.

I'm afraid I never will.


No one wants to be alone.


I am a lonely woman.

I am a lovely woman.

I know this hurt and I never want anyone else to feel it. I show everyone as much love as I can. Sometimes it's too much. To give love and never receive in return, it takes a toll. I know too much and everyone else doesn't know enough. I want to share myself, but no one has ever asked. So I hold myself close to my chest. I no longer hope that someone will pull my cold hands away and warm my heart. It is a fantasy that is easier to believe. How sad.


I am a lovely woman.

Take that as you will.

I am resilient in my love.

Otherwise, you would have won.


All I've ever wanted was love.


I am a lovely woman.

I am a sad woman.

Pulling myself from the depths without your help. I am my own priority because you chose to live without me. I would have loved you forever, but you couldn't handle me at my worst. I told you he hurt me and you took his side. That's okay. Unfortunately, I understand why. When you never even said "goodbye" - it made me want to die. A part of me is dead because of you. But I also know a part of you is alive because of me.


How sad.

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